Speaking of which, for getting irradiated by floating 9 x 9 Yuppie-era games you certainly don’t feel the effects of it at all. Ladies, ladies, there’s plenty of protagonist to go around. But hey, if you make enough money to buy me medicine, pizza, beer, go swimming at the city pool and grab a meal with me I might let you cop a feel over it later.”
“Hey chopper girl, could you blast that alien over there before it irradiates me again?” “I could, Joe, but I need a new bra so you’re gonna have to pony up.
Pretty sure that’s not how any modern military operates. It only lasts one turn and you have to keep paying over and over and over if you want that help. However, you have to PAY the girl to use her skill, each and every time. You can take one of the waifus on patrol with you, but it doesn’t really do anything for you unless you employ her skill. Speaking of costs – EVERYTHING costs in this game. I’m a genetically engineered badass, not some errand boy trying to score 2D romance while being attacked by 80’s nostalgia toys. Liberated women in the army on the front lines my ass. Seriously, every day one of the girls has a tummy ache and it’s up to you to hoof on over to the cafeteria to buy expensive medicine to make her feel better if you want to interact with her. You start with a knife and handgun, and if you keep killing enough aliens you may be able to afford buying a weapon with a little more punch later on. But you only earn 40000 credits for a mission with no fighting and the concoction costs 20000. You can purchase a mystery concoction that, for some reason, lessens your chances of meeting aliens. The game employs a painfully slow combat system (that you can’t skip out of) where you take on the entire Russian army of variant Rubik’s Cubes that have been engineered to float in space, shoot various things at you, and now resist you peeling off the stickers to cheat at solving it like us old people did in the 1980’s. Your only source of money is to patrol for aliens. So then, you need money to buy stuff to win the waifu. One is an alien bent on destroying humanity by violence. Kind of a frustrating flaw there, developers. Okay, not really, but I did lose love points needlessly. Two days later I’ve failed the quest and Yumi kicked me in the digital nuts. I made the mistake of accepting a “buy this item” for Yumi only to tragically see it not in stock at the cafeteria. You won’t have access to the city for the first few days though. Some items the girls want aren’t there, and can only be obtained in the city store. Hit certain goals and you move yourself out of the friendzone and into the endzone (which is now the worst euphemism ever made for getting into a 2D girl’s pants).īit of a warning – early on scout out what’s in the cafeteria before asking for quests. Complete the quest, gain love gems… sorry, wrong game… gain love points.
She gives you the amount and how much time you have. When you talk to them, you can ask them for a quest, and it’s usually buy the girl something, train with the girl, or go somewhere with her. How do you go about winning the waifu? You mostly buy them stuff from the cafeteria or the city store (when you finally have access to it). Finally, you have Eve, a sniper who says little, has no nationality, and must be the blood of the dragon or demon or something. Cecile is French (I’ve heard worse impersonated French accents, so it’s passable) and is the mechanic. Jennifer is your American helicopter pilot and serves as the redheaded, oppai, tomboyish, freespirited character, and also has the truest accent in the game, since the actress probably actually was American. Her Number One is Yumi, who is listed as Indonesian/Japanese and has the voice of an angel but not of either of those countries. The commander, Cornelia, is British (but don’t go by her accent, sorry, but it’s really a bad impersonation of a British accent). You’ve got five to choose from, and they’re seemingly from all over the globe. Your primary goal in this game is to score the heart of a waifu.
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